Monday, January 28, 2008
Such a pity
Every time I hear Weezer's "Such a Pity" I imagine a video with the Clintons and Obama. It makes me smile!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Faking it
Can't fake my excitement for tonight's win!!!! It was so great to watch the turn out although Alex was scared by the early percentages thinking it may change with more precincts coming in but it didn't. Definitely gives me hope.
The other faking I'm referring to has been regarding friendship in the past. The new year will always cause one to reflect on mistakes so that you can learn from them. In college, I had a friend that would talk bad about people behind their back and did it in a way that you would agree with them. It took me too long to figure this out and you would think I would learn from that.
I hadn't really even with the latest casualty in the groups of friends I have. I had confided stuff in the past but never received judgment against anything I had confided until recently. I prefer honesty but when responses I were getting kept changing I couldn't determine what was real anymore. I don't like being fake. I have to be at work unfortunately but luckily I have a few people I can be myself with there.
I want to believe in people but it's gotten harder. I can count on one hand the people I now rely on to being able to confide in and only one person who knows all my secrets, which is Alex, of course. I'm addicted to watching Sex in the City because I want to believe that that is possible. To be able to be friends with women and to be able to confide with them is something that can be achieved. But that's a tv show that is fake.
The other faking I'm referring to has been regarding friendship in the past. The new year will always cause one to reflect on mistakes so that you can learn from them. In college, I had a friend that would talk bad about people behind their back and did it in a way that you would agree with them. It took me too long to figure this out and you would think I would learn from that.
I hadn't really even with the latest casualty in the groups of friends I have. I had confided stuff in the past but never received judgment against anything I had confided until recently. I prefer honesty but when responses I were getting kept changing I couldn't determine what was real anymore. I don't like being fake. I have to be at work unfortunately but luckily I have a few people I can be myself with there.
I want to believe in people but it's gotten harder. I can count on one hand the people I now rely on to being able to confide in and only one person who knows all my secrets, which is Alex, of course. I'm addicted to watching Sex in the City because I want to believe that that is possible. To be able to be friends with women and to be able to confide with them is something that can be achieved. But that's a tv show that is fake.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Changes
There have been so many changes going on this year and it's only January. Ok, so changes have been taking place a little before hand. Last month was all about drama and this month I'm actually starting to feel calmness after the storm. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Of course, I have to thank my wonderful hubby for helping me through it all (insert cheesy sigh now). After close to 9 years, I think I actually love him more now than ever. But enough about that.
I hate relying on the fact that I'm a minority down here. Communication or I say miscommunication is a factor daily for me whether it be a language barrier or because I have a different mindset than a lot of folks down here. My music tastes seem to differ and I know my politics differ.
I had a conversation with a friend recently who lives abroad. I was telling her about trying to keep up with the politics this year. She called herself ignorant for not knowing more of our system. I don't like that word because I believe ignorance to lead to hate and to prejudgments. I told her this and told her I preferred uninformed. However I was surprised to still hear some ignorant statements even from my in-laws. Alex had told me that his parents were a little racist but I hadn't really heard or seen it until recently. My father in law didn't use the "n" word but he still used some terms that made me feel uncomfortable. I knew that there had been some discussions that some people are still racist down here. My first case of that was when I got injured at work. I needed to get a list of doctors available for me to go to. I got a list but was "warned" that one doctor was black. Hell, that decided it for me. He was the doctor for me. I continue to go see him. I haven't told my in-laws this not because of how they might act but it doesn't make a difference to me. However, it's gonna come up soon I'm sure.
My in-laws are republicans. What can I do? I love Alex and am grateful that he and I at least share some of the same political views. We have discussed politics a little bit but not at great length. Alex and I are currently supporting Barak Obama. We want to get bumper stickers. I support Mr. Obama for a lot of things and I supported him before I found out about my in-laws but in the same case once I found out about them, I wanted to really spout of my political leanings much like how I chose my doctor. However, I know that is really not their concern because they shouldn't affect me so. If my mother-in-law still cannot spell my first name properly after 9 years and often forgets I'm allergic to almonds, I should simply get over it. They have their own voice. And now, I have found mine again.
I hate relying on the fact that I'm a minority down here. Communication or I say miscommunication is a factor daily for me whether it be a language barrier or because I have a different mindset than a lot of folks down here. My music tastes seem to differ and I know my politics differ.
I had a conversation with a friend recently who lives abroad. I was telling her about trying to keep up with the politics this year. She called herself ignorant for not knowing more of our system. I don't like that word because I believe ignorance to lead to hate and to prejudgments. I told her this and told her I preferred uninformed. However I was surprised to still hear some ignorant statements even from my in-laws. Alex had told me that his parents were a little racist but I hadn't really heard or seen it until recently. My father in law didn't use the "n" word but he still used some terms that made me feel uncomfortable. I knew that there had been some discussions that some people are still racist down here. My first case of that was when I got injured at work. I needed to get a list of doctors available for me to go to. I got a list but was "warned" that one doctor was black. Hell, that decided it for me. He was the doctor for me. I continue to go see him. I haven't told my in-laws this not because of how they might act but it doesn't make a difference to me. However, it's gonna come up soon I'm sure.
My in-laws are republicans. What can I do? I love Alex and am grateful that he and I at least share some of the same political views. We have discussed politics a little bit but not at great length. Alex and I are currently supporting Barak Obama. We want to get bumper stickers. I support Mr. Obama for a lot of things and I supported him before I found out about my in-laws but in the same case once I found out about them, I wanted to really spout of my political leanings much like how I chose my doctor. However, I know that is really not their concern because they shouldn't affect me so. If my mother-in-law still cannot spell my first name properly after 9 years and often forgets I'm allergic to almonds, I should simply get over it. They have their own voice. And now, I have found mine again.
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