Faking it

Can't fake my excitement for tonight's win!!!! It was so great to watch the turn out although Alex was scared by the early percentages thinking it may change with more precincts coming in but it didn't. Definitely gives me hope.

The other faking I'm referring to has been regarding friendship in the past. The new year will always cause one to reflect on mistakes so that you can learn from them. In college, I had a friend that would talk bad about people behind their back and did it in a way that you would agree with them. It took me too long to figure this out and you would think I would learn from that.

I hadn't really even with the latest casualty in the groups of friends I have. I had confided stuff in the past but never received judgment against anything I had confided until recently. I prefer honesty but when responses I were getting kept changing I couldn't determine what was real anymore. I don't like being fake. I have to be at work unfortunately but luckily I have a few people I can be myself with there.

I want to believe in people but it's gotten harder. I can count on one hand the people I now rely on to being able to confide in and only one person who knows all my secrets, which is Alex, of course. I'm addicted to watching Sex in the City because I want to believe that that is possible. To be able to be friends with women and to be able to confide with them is something that can be achieved. But that's a tv show that is fake.